It’s interesting to look back on the first time the word victim was presented to me in therapy. Once the word was in the room, it was like the therapist had set my body on fire - a sure sign I was preparing for defence. The thoughts went something like “Me? Pulling the victim card? Never. Look at everything I’ve been through”.
And there is was. Once you see it, you just cannot unsee it.
I remember the drive home after that session and feeling absolutely fucking astounded. How have I become a person who cries victim? And why? When did this happen? Have I always been this way? The answer was yes. LOL
Self awareness is painful. It’s that thing that makes you clench up your entire body and recoil in mortification. Self awareness is not just about being in tune with our emotions and practising self care. It’s actually, for the most part, about looking at the parts of ourselves that make us want to free fall off the side of a cliff without a harness.
Victim mentality is a powerful state. It’s probably one of the most powerful ways to manipulate others to get what we need. Many a boss I’ve had crying in my face. Many a social post about our troubling times. Yes, I’ve done it myself. Probably will again. Many a constant complainer. Do you know someone who’s been complaining for years and is still fucking complaining? Or have you been or currently are one of those people? The answer is yes to both for me. I am who I am. Work in progress.
Nine times out of ten, victim mentality will